Pin Pricks

Acupuncture is an ancient Eastern medical practice that balances the body's energy or Chi. It is an effective way to alleviate pain, discomfort and to help optimize the body's functioning and self-healing abilities. 

The painless procedure involves the practitioner placing super tiny needles into the patient's body. If a particular ailment is being remedied, the needles will be placed in and near the area of the ailment in order to facilitate the flow of beautiful healing energy. 

I used it years ago as a part of a prevention regime to keep me balanced. Now that I've hit 50, I plan to resume acupuncture as a part of my wellness routine so that my mind, body and soul behave like fine wine - we get better with time. 

My intention to reintroduce acupuncture into my life got me to wondering about other possible benefits of the ancient practice. What if the insertion of the needles also serves a deeper, more spiritual purpose?

What if each pin prick serves as an outlet through which our inner splendor can escape? 

What if by activating the beautiful energy within us we also activate strength, courage and wisdom; the strength, courage and wisdom necessary to write the book, launch the small business, obtain the degree, show up for the audition, leave the toxic relationship?

What if the authentic power that we need to create the life that we've only allowed ourselves to fantasize about can be unleashed - one super tiny pin prick at a time?

What if the inner splendor could be released whether we used acupuncture or not? What if?

Michelle Hollinger is the author of The Sisterhood Exchange. Purchase a copy at michellehollinger.com.

The Sisterhood Exchange

I see her on the screen,
on the job,
on the street;
Head held high, 
her eyes smile and see clearly through the bright light she casts.

She has danced with many partners;
fear,
rejection,
And at least one of the "isms;"
They now follow her lead.

I return her glance with smiling eyes,
whisper a brief thanks to Him for her,
silently transmit a warm 'you go girl,'
and bask in the glow of our mutual lights,
each strengthening the other through the energy exchange called sisterhood.

Michelle Hollinger is the author of The Sisterhood Exchange. Purchase a copy at michellehollinger.com.

Sisterhood exchanging with Stephanie

It was during a particularly challenging phase when my then 9-year old daughter and I weren't getting along as well as we could that I got my bright idea. Stephi was being her usual defiant self and I was frustrated and about ready to pull my hair out; but in my gut I believed that we had the potential to do better.

One day, "out of the blue," I sensed that if we could somehow improve the quality of the energy that flowed between us, we could improve our relationship. I explained my little experiment to Stephi and she reluctantly agreed to give it a shot. I asked her to stand, face me and with our eyes closed, for a few minutes we would think good, positive, loving thoughts about each other.

And that's what we did.

I was deeply moved by the exchange and could sense that Stephi was, too. I asked her if she wanted us to share our thoughts aloud and she said 'yes.' I got to tell her what a spunky, courageous and smart girl she was and she told me that I was a wonderful, supportive mother who always "had her back." These lovely thoughts were inside of us, but as long as we were "bumping heads," they never surfaced.

I believe that a shift occurred in our relationship that day. We still had challenging moments, but overall, the way that we approached each other changed, the way that we interacted changed and the way that we listened to each other changed. It's not perfect, (what relationship is?), but, today I share an authentic relationship with my daughter, who is now 20, which I believe began on the day of our 'exchange.'

That experience in the kitchen years ago prompted me to sit and write. Although I had a hunch that what was stirring inside of me would somehow address the energy exchanged between women, I had no idea that it would result in a book. As a writer, my obligation was to open myself to the process and allow Spirit to flow. The Sisterhood Exchange is what emerged.

Purchase a copy of The Sisterhood Exchange at michellehollinger.com.  

Jealousy or admiration?

The feeling commonly known as jealousy may actually be admiration in disguise. 

In order to understand how the two can be confused, it is necessary to accept that, from a spiritual perspective, we are all connected. Now consider that within us is a human mechanism that triggers a visceral response when we encounter a person who possesses a quality that we believe ourselves to be lacking. Even if the so-called jealousy is about some material possession, the visceral response is to the human quality that made the acquisition of the material possession possible.

Here’s where the fine line between jealousy and admiration begins to blur. 

We’re not actually lacking the quality. Spiritually speaking, the only way for us to notice the quality in someone else is for us to also have it within ourselves. Its seed is within us waiting for us to spend valuable time with it; to water it and nurture it so that it blossoms into what it is intended to become. Because we have not paid it the attention that it deserves, seeing it in full bloom in someone else reminds us subconsciously where we’re slacking and that produces the feeling commonly known as jealousy.

  

We’ve been conditioned to respond to our triggers in this manner and in this manner alone; but it produces no benefits. Actually, continuing to respond this way is easy, but stressful. Easy because it requires nothing from us; stressful because it guarantees jealousy remains a permanent fixture in our lives.

Shifting from the toxic, energy-sapping emotion that jealousy is to the expansive, life-affirming quality of admiration requires that we spend some time exploring and taking ownership of our triggers. It requires searching within for the quality seed that is awaiting our attention; and deciding whether to roll up our sleeves to water it or allow it to shrivel by maintaining our status quo. 

It also requires a willingness to admit (at least to ourselves) that we actually admire the person in possession of the quality; which means our ego has to take a backseat. Admiration is not for the faint at heart. It is a big, powerful quality because inherent in admiration is gratitude to the person for triggering an inner awareness that could serve as a springboard to a greater life.

Michelle Hollinger is the author of The Sisterhood Exchange. Purchase a copy at michellehollinger.com. 

He didn't raise me, but I am my daddy's girl

My daddy did not raise me. My parents split up when I was a little girl. Ma returned to South Florida where her family lived and my daddy remained in Newark, making house with his new/old family. 

I went through the stages of grief that come along with not having him present in my life. I went from anger to anger to even more anger before I slid into an indifference that lasted for several years.

In college, I figured he had grown up and realized the error of his ways, so I reached out in a way that I thought was fitting for a daughter to approach an estranged father – I asked him for money. 

My daddy sounded as though this was a telephone conversation that we’d been having regularly throughout my college experience, not the first time that we’d spoken in years. He told me that he would wire the money to me later that day – only he never did. When I was able to get him on the phone again, days later, he told me some cockamamie story about being mugged, robbed of the very money he was planning to send to me. I made a mental note that he was never to be trusted again. 

My daddy died a few years later, in the summer of 1988, and his death marks the true beginning of my relationship with him.

I grew up during a time where children were seen and not heard, so asking questions about why my daddy did not step in to care for me after my mother died in 1974 was not happening. I did not dare interject  “well how come this nice guy wasn’t there for his little girl,” when I’d hear relatives go on and on about what a great guy Clint was, how Clint was there for so many people and how great it was to hang out with him.

After his death, I was determined to find out who this Clint fellow was that so many of his family and friends loved so dearly.

Thankfully, because I grew up and realized the error of my ways I was able to stop making his absence in my life all about me. I began to consider that my daddy couldn’t give to me what he couldn’t give to himself. 

My daddy slowly drank himself to death after years of alcoholism. Though I have yet to discover the source of his pain, my daddy used alcohol to numb it and allow him to function. His volatile relationship with my older brothers is still unexplained and the unraveling of his marriage to my mother haunted him even after she was buried, despite his other relationship.

I’d convinced myself that some of the traumatic things that happened to me would not have happened had my daddy been a bigger part of my life. I was certain that his presence would have deterred some of the so-called trustworthy men in my family from even thinking about touching me. I told myself that the confidence that I was so lacking and my reluctance to take a risk would have been buoyed by my daddy’s presence; but I’m not so sure.

What if everything happened exactly as it was supposed to happen? What if the compassionate, smart and private woman that I am today had to experience everything exactly as I did in order for this exciting chapter in my life to unfold?

What if the desire to forgive my daddy and the wonderful life lessons that I learned along the way served as my blueprint on forgiving the seventy times seven that Jesus advises? What if my ability to forgive my daddy was the most surefire way to forgiving myself for putting him on a pedestal that he did not choose and demanding from him what he could not give? 

I have arrived at a sacred sweetness in my spirit whenever I think of Daddy. I don’t have all of my questions answered, and though I’d love to know more, I’ve gotten beyond the “coulda, woulda, shouldas” that a commitment to regret requires. 

I’m OK with believing that Daddy can see my heart now and is resting peacefully in the assurance that I am definitely his girl. 

Michelle Hollinger is the author of The Sisterhood Exchange. Purchase a copy at michellehollinger.com.

There is no competition for your calling!

One of the lies that adults tell their children and each other is that the world is a tough place and that we must compete in order to be successful.

In order to understand why competition is a myth, it’s first necessary to examine the word “successful.” With the traditional, society-based definition of the word, there is an enormous amount of “competition.” When there are too many people who are willing to settle for a safe, “successful” life when they are called to do something more, it creates an illusion of competition because the demand for "safe," "successful" jobs exceeds the availability. 

When people are focused on acquiring society’s accepted image of what constitutes success – far too often that definition is synonymous with mediocrity, with playing it safe. The irony of this belief is that so many people live lives that look successful, but just beneath the surface is a cesspool of fear, doubt and worry. 

When we are intent on discovering our purpose for being on the planet, when we open our minds and hearts to receiving what God is attempting to reveal through us, not only is there is no competition; but the fear, doubt and worry become transmuted into an empowering energy.

You’ve heard the saying, ‘what’s for you is for you.’ It’s true! And when we become aligned with that truth, nothing and no one can stop it from manifesting in and as our life. No one can compete with us for what is for us, just as we cannot compete with someone else for what is for them.

The real competition is in leaving behind the person we used to be in exchange for the person that we are here to become. In order to give birth to our purpose, a transformation must occur within us. The person that we are today must be willing to give way for the person within to emerge. 

 

This process does not involve competition with anyone except our self. The competitor is our ego, which wants to keep us stagnant, wants us to remain mired in status quo, and wants us to continue our dance with mediocrity.   

Trying to break free from our ego's plan for us is a challenge, but it’s actually an awesome space in which to exist. It’s divine discontent and it’s good because a part of you is waking up to the truth that there is more for you to be, more for you to do, more for you to allow to pour forth through you.

Spending time in silence and asking the right questions will reveal your purpose. And because God never reveals a purpose without also illuminating its path, you will be guided towards its manifestation.

So, who are you competing with and why?

Michelle Hollinger is the author of The Sisterhood Exchange. Purchase a copy at michellehollinger.com.

Just Beyond

The opposite of a "negative" thought, is just beyond it.

Just beyond fear is courage, but courage cannot be accessed by traveling around, over or under fear. 

Traveling through fear – stopping temporarily to illuminate it, to fully experience its essence, its wisdom, its gifts and ultimately its fallibility – is the only way to arrive at the courage that is just beyond it in a way that negates the necessity for idling in neutral or repeatedly shifting in reverse. 

Michelle Hollinger is the author of The Sisterhood Exchange. Purchase a copy at michellehollinger.com.

Power Nap

Some days my feelings threaten to immobilize me, lay me out with a justification that an afternoon nap is the only cure. On occasion, I give in to that part of me committed to being gentle with me; that part of me that knows that loving me is the best remedy for anything. 

I dismiss my whiner voice determined to label this respite as lazy, and embrace, instead, my winner voice that’s ready to speak truthfully and openly, sometimes uncomfortably; but with a discomfort that transforms to honor as it reveals hidden treasure. 

On those days, I take a long, slow look at myself, at my life, at where I am and I question, ever so gently, if this current spot is actually the best place for me. Wisdom has delivered acceptance that where I am right now is where I am supposed to be; however, courage whispers that where I go from here, from this now moment is best determined by what I allow to surface, now.

I nudge myself into exploring whether settling or playing small have coaxed me to this place. I look, with as nonjudgmental a glance as possible, at whether people-pleasing or a preoccupation with what “they” will think factored into my arrival here; and suddenly I am overtaken by immense gratitude for all of the telltale, nap-inducing feelings – feelings that must emerge because their job is to lull me into divine slumber – to put me on my back - not to really sleep - but to awaken.  

Michelle Hollinger is the author of The Sisterhood Exchange. Purchase an autographed, hard copy edition at michellehollinger.com.

Untouchable YOU

There is a part of you, deep within you, that has never and will never be harmed.

Despite experiences that tell you otherwise, despite feeling pain that you considered insurmountable, despite having been immersed in what feels like the most horrific, unshakeable darkness, there exists a space within you that remains untouched, pristinely protected and patiently awaiting your discovery of its presence.

The addictions that you plagued you, that you scrapped with, felt beaten down by and tried over and over to discard, were merely placeholders; temporary buffers that kept you in a “comfort zone” until you were ready for your “real zone;” only accessed in silence. It is the zone that is that sacred space within you, untouchable you.

Michelle Hollinger is the author of The Sisterhood Exchange. Purchase a copy at michellehollinger.com.