Jealousy or admiration?

The feeling commonly known as jealousy may actually be admiration in disguise. 

In order to understand how the two can be confused, it is necessary to accept that, from a spiritual perspective, we are all connected. Now consider that within us is a human mechanism that triggers a visceral response when we encounter a person who possesses a quality that we believe ourselves to be lacking. Even if the so-called jealousy is about some material possession, the visceral response is to the human quality that made the acquisition of the material possession possible.

Here’s where the fine line between jealousy and admiration begins to blur. 

We’re not actually lacking the quality. Spiritually speaking, the only way for us to notice the quality in someone else is for us to also have it within ourselves. Its seed is within us waiting for us to spend valuable time with it; to water it and nurture it so that it blossoms into what it is intended to become. Because we have not paid it the attention that it deserves, seeing it in full bloom in someone else reminds us subconsciously where we’re slacking and that produces the feeling commonly known as jealousy.

  

We’ve been conditioned to respond to our triggers in this manner and in this manner alone; but it produces no benefits. Actually, continuing to respond this way is easy, but stressful. Easy because it requires nothing from us; stressful because it guarantees jealousy remains a permanent fixture in our lives.

Shifting from the toxic, energy-sapping emotion that jealousy is to the expansive, life-affirming quality of admiration requires that we spend some time exploring and taking ownership of our triggers. It requires searching within for the quality seed that is awaiting our attention; and deciding whether to roll up our sleeves to water it or allow it to shrivel by maintaining our status quo. 

It also requires a willingness to admit (at least to ourselves) that we actually admire the person in possession of the quality; which means our ego has to take a backseat. Admiration is not for the faint at heart. It is a big, powerful quality because inherent in admiration is gratitude to the person for triggering an inner awareness that could serve as a springboard to a greater life.

Michelle Hollinger is the author of The Sisterhood Exchange. Purchase a copy at michellehollinger.com.